Tonight's fest began at 8 p.m. under the light of a full moon. The tractor was filled with gas while everyone arrived on this pleasant 30 degree evening. Someone brought a night-vision viewer, allowing advanced technology to be applied usefully; festing. We journeyed into the woods and experienced some difficulty. Attempts to ascent the steep hill resulted in wheelies due to the large load of passengers in the dump body. Instead of unloading passengers, we went baja for a while and returned to the house to check for more arrivals. There were none, so we ascended the steep hill with less people and tractored halfway up the main trail. At this point we did some impressive baja that included some forest clearing and a wheelie on a tree that I thought was dead. Apparently it wasn't, and as it was run over the front end lifted a few feet off the ground; like the classic January 12th incident of this year. The tree fell to the ground after suspending the tractor a for a few seconds, and we continued on our journey. We drove down a large rock and returned to the main trail. After ascending to the turnaround, we took a right in the direction of TV cliff. But just after the stonewall crossing, we turned to the right again, and soon arrived in un-fested territory. There was a big vertical ledge to our left as we plowed through very thick pine trees and got stuck on a log. At this point I made effective use of the night-vision to plan navigation. Once the tractor was free, we made a U turn around the ledge and proceeded with difficulty along an off camber section. Eventually we arrived at the trail to TV cliff, parked the tractor, and walked the rest of the way. We sat on the cliff and enjoyed the night time view, which of course included specific debris. The moonlight lit up the woods and the lack of wind made the setting very calm, even therapeutic. After a few minutes of relaxation, we returned to the tractor and followed the trail back to the turnaround. Then we descended the back side of Mount Tractor in search of the new washing machine monument. To my surprise it didn't take long to locate, and we stopped for a group picture. Then we navigated back to the turnaround and stopped to rotate passengers so that the five new participants could experience the full speed descent of the main trail. After the bumpy section was over, we stopped to allow those on foot to rejoin and give Chris time to find his hat which fell off during the pounding descent. Then we followed an undefined trail toward the stonewall crossing, but on the way the p.t.o. joint on the drive shaft broke and presented us with a serious problem; a broken tractor. We pushed it through the woods and lowered it down the steep hill with an idea from the mind of Matt Vitale. Without a drive shaft there is no engine braking, so we hooked a chain to the back of the tractor and countered its descending force in a tug of war style with everyone pulling on the chain in the uphill direction. This allowed us to descend slowly, avoiding unwanted forward momentum and someone getting run over. Then we pushed it to the barn with Graeme steering. Matt erected a small festmas tree by removing a pine limb from the front end and jamming it between the air filter and cylinder. Then we went to the house and discussed the situation. There were 12 people that attended the fest. The last time that there were 12 attendants, the rear axle broke (1/12/97). The time before that, the motor broke (3/12/95). There are no other fests on record with 12 attendants. Also, there are no other fests that ended with serious tractor damage except these three. And all of these fests were held on the 12th of the month. This led us to the conclusion that the tractor is jinxed by the number 12. Then Graeme blamed Matt Ciampaglia for not attending tonight's fest like he said he would; for he would have been the thirteenth passenger. So Matt indirectly caused the broken drive shaft which is understood as "how Matt stole festmas." Hopefully the drive shaft will be repaired in time for kwanzaafest.
12/18George Barton, Chris Baylis, Julie Carlo, Shannon Paul (105th person to Fest), Vin Yesue
Notable narcoleptic: Kurt Hackler
Notable Attendee: Matt 'the Grinch who restored Festmas' Ciampaglia.
It was 10:20 p.m., under a bright, waxing moon. This fest was impulsively conceived after an impromptu visit to Kurt's house after a Christmas Concert. Upon arrival, much to our chagrin, we were told by Mr. Kurt, a.k.a. Mr. Hackler, that Kurt was "nestled all snug in his bed, while vision of sugar plumbs dance in his head." With this revelation, we found ourselves in the garage of Kurt's house contemplating our next course of action when we arrived at the following epiphany: Fest!
Vin threw out the suggestion that we should turn this fruitless journey into a ground breaking Fest. After considering the criteria which classifies a Fest, i.e.: Kurt's presence, 12 feet of motion, 12 minutes, and the tractor, we realized that we could, in fact, Fest. Accomplishing the first of the criteria, with Kurt sleeping a mere 30 yards away from Festing apparatus (the tractor), the idea to Fest was brought before the Grinch.
And thus spoke the Grinch, "Hark! Rejoice, for yonder tractor beckons!" It was at that moment that the Grinch's heart, rumored to be two sizes too small, grew three sizes larger both wide and tall. "Yes!" said the Grinch with his hand in the air! Let there be Fest in the crisp night air!"
To the tractor we went, and the Fest had begun. Gathering all upon the tractor, the Grinch, by himself, overcame the tractor's handicap and set it in motion. Breathing life into the tractor, he displaced it 12 feet and with the strength of 10 Grinches, raised it above his head. Then, full of might, the Grinch spun the tractor 'round and replaced it gently on the ground 180 degrees from whence it came. This amazing feat took 12 minutes in all, thus concluding this ground breaking Fest. It was with much adoration that we looked at the Grinch; we thanked him for granting our humble request.
As predicted in '57 by the good Dr. Suess; this was how Festmas was restored, you big silly goose!
This magnificent summary of the 12/18 fest is the result of a collaborative effort by the Grinch (Matt Ciampaglia), and Juile Carlo.